Guide To Getting Started With FemDom / FinDom
“Domme” is a massively popular type of camming, clip producing, and sexting has hit the indie adult market. Pretty much everyone knows what it is or has some minor experience with it if they’re sexually active outside of adult work, because you’ve probably been asked something along the lines of “are you more dominant or submissive?” “are you a top or bottom?” “WHO wears the pants?”. If you know the answer to those questions, and the answer is along the lines of you being a dominant power top who wears the pants, there’s a fairly good chance that you could make some income providing online domination services.
Creating Your Own Brand of Domme
A lot of models find themselves wanting to step into the role of an online Domme but don’t know where to start, or think there are “qualifications” that must be met to call yourself a Domme. In reality, you will decide your own brand of Domination. Your brand of Domination can be structured to fit into your style of services, for example: a non-nude model can provide Domination through verbal humiliation, a nude model can do body worshiping shows, a fetish model can mix humiliation with any fetish they provide (some common ones are feet, pantyhose, spit, smoking, giantess, and vore.) Of course you don’t HAVE TO do it that way, but those are great ways to transition into providing it by overlapping it with services you already offer and you are used to providing.
Sub Tasks / Slave Tasks
Since doing Domination online is lacking the physical aspects of real time sessions, you will have to learn how to communicate your wishes in a firm way to ensure that the submissive will follow your lead. A common practice in the community is giving “sub tasks” or “slaves tasks” which can vary from sending money (this is more FinDom, which we will discuss later), doing a humiliating task like writing something embarrassing on themselves, instructing them to cause themselves physical pain, or really anything that is within the boundary of the submissive parties limits.
Knowing Your Submissive’s Limits and Interests
Knowing your submissive’s limits may be harder if it is a first time client or you are producing a video that is meant for sale to the general public. My suggestion is for first time shows where you aren’t expecting them to come back, provide a less intense show and leave the burden on the submissive to request more severe treatment. You will be better off providing a less intense show and not risking losing the customer because you turn them off with something that is beyond their sexual interest in the show. It’s better to not push the boundaries, if you don’t know what they are. This dynamic changes if you have a customer who comes back repeatedly and becomes a “devoted slave” to you.
Regular Submissives vs Devoted Slaves
There is a massive difference between a regular “submissive” and a devoted “slave.” Submissive customers will generally surf around cam sites or clip sites and not really fixate themselves onto one Dominant, instead they will “browse” and accept services from multiple models. Does this make them a bad submissive? Not necessarily because on cam and clip sites there is no expectation for these submissive customers to visit you and only you, but if in their browsing they then devote themselves to you this will create a better “slave” dynamic. A “slave” is more likely to visit you often, dedicate themselves to your rules and the things that you want, as well as want a greater relationship with you outside of sexual shows.
- May visit multiple Domme’s
- Probably has a specific interest that they seek from multiple Dominants
- Potentially “shopping” for their ideal Domme by getting multiple shows from many models
- Tends to have a smaller budget for you since they spread it out among many models
- Will probably use “free time” to get to know you and “paid time” for shows that provide them sexual pleasure
- Submissives that don’t know you well might be “bratty” and try to deny your requests
- Could potentially not have the time to dedicate themselves fully to a D/s relationship, due to work/lack of funds/relationships
- Is more than likely devoted to only one Domme
- May not share all of your interests as a Dominant but will likely perform them to please you
- Will most likely dedicate all of their time and attention to you, since they aren’t looking for attention elsewhere
- Tends to spend a lot on you because they aren’t spreading out their budget on shows from other providers
- Will probably use “paid time” for chatting as well as sexual services, or if using free time for anything will likely gift or tip you for it
- Slaves that know you well will know what to expect from you and what they can or can not do to avoid being punished, usually listen better
- Generally willing to MAKE time for you regardless of work/lack of funds/relationships or any other factors
Establishing Domme / Sub Limits
Once you’ve identified whether your client is a submissive who probably won’t be visiting you quite as often or if they’re a potential slave who wants to be loyal to you, you will most likely want to establish some limits. Limits for yourself as their Dominant, and limits for them as your slave. You will want to ask them for their limits which can be pushed (things they may not have interest in but would be willing to do if you’d want them to) and their hard limits (things you can NOT push, things they will never do or have any interest in.) A good way to vet out time wasters is to blacklist anyone who says “I have no limits.” If you don’t want to blacklist immediately, a fun response to that is “so you’ll send me $5,000 right now?” or “well, let’s get ready to chop off your genitals!” If their response is anything other than, “yes (insert your preferred title here)” then they HAVE limits.
Two Main Types of FemDom:
Anything that does not include attaching financial value to the service, including punishments
Anything that includes attaching financial value to the service provided
Three Main Focuses of Femdom:
You can mix these together, you can add things on to them, or you can take things away from them, but there very basic core of Domination will come down to three categories of submission.
Humilation: The sub/slave has come to terms with their inferiority, wants to be told they are inferior, desires to be humiliated to prove/confirm they are inferior. Most likely has specific things that they believe makes them less powerful than you and desires you to emphasize how these things make them unworthy of equality, attention, or even love. Some common examples are: small penis humiliation, weight humiliation, height humiliation, career/workplace humiliation, fetish humiliation, performance humiliation (stamina, athleticism, or ability to complete things required of them,) general humiliation based on looks, humiliation based on intelligence, and many more.
Worship: The sub/slave wants to worship you, they want to shower you with compliments and they want to beg to watch/touch/satisfy you. They may also desire to worship or honor an “alpha partner,” they desire your happiness. Some examples include: cuckolding, ass worship, breast worship, any physical worship (height, weight, hair, stomach, eyes, lips, etc.) shoe/sock worship, leather/latex worship, prayer worship (treating you as their God,) manipulation and hypnotizing, and many more.
Pain: The sub/slave wants to cause pain to themselves either for your attention or at your request to satisfy you and display that their body is worthless or that you control them entirely so much so that they will cause pain/injury to themselves. Some examples include: CBT (cock and ball torture,) paddling, spanking, slapping, punching, gagging, pegging (this does not have to be painful, but encouraging stretching or rough sex can make it painful,) human ashtray, and many more.
Financial Domination brings together all of the wonderful parts of regular Domination, but adds a price tag to it. A lot of cam models, clip creators, and PSOs will find themselves incorporating financial domination into their services (sometimes even on accident!) because of the way our online industry is laid out. If you require a tribute or up front cash payment in order to converse with your customer, that is a form of FinDom. If you think about it, every type of Domination service you perform online will most likely be kind of Financial Domination. Why? You are withholding the service from the member until you receive payment for it. That in itself is a form of Financial Domination. You have the power to essentially control them and make them pay for your services.
Doing Financial Domination Clips and Camming Shows
To perform a Financial Domination live show, clip, or phone/text exchange: you should first find out what kind of show the customer is interested in. Some clients will want it to be all about the finances, you can ask questions like how much do you have in your bank account right now, you can request they tip you every time you snap your fingers or wink, you can request a payment at every x interval of time. Regardless of what you do it will be about the money they are giving to you and how you express that the money is your fetish and it satisfies you as well as it satisfying them to give it to you (for whatever reason: because they don’t deserve it, because you are superior to them, because they should have to work for you, because all of their belongings are yours, etc) because you deserve it more than they do.
Incorporating Fetishes Into FinDom
If the show is not only about the money, you will have to also have some general knowledge of fetishes and interests in FemDom to perform your show. A very common one for example is SPH (small penis humiliation) shows. If your client wants a SPH show with FinDom, you can try saying things like “your dick is so small you should have to pay a tiny dick tax” or “your credit card is bigger than your pathetic dick so let’s put that to use instead.” It is actually very fun to intertwine FinDom with other fetishes because not only does it increase your earnings from the show, but you can create fun games with it. If a foot fetishist also likes FinDom, you can play a game along the lines of every time you point your toes they tip. If someone likes FinDom and just wants to be humiliated in general you could tell them to tip every time you call them a loser (or any mean name, really.)
Findom Customers Shouldn’t B Manipulated / Coerced
At the end of the day you can implement FinDom into your shows however you see fit, but try to remember the core aspect of financial domination which is: they worked hard for this money, this money satisfies you, and since they desire to please you, they should WANT to give you this money. Giving you money should bring them some form of satisfaction, whether it be mental, emotional, or even physical. Any customer who wants to participate in FinDom should not have to be manipulated or coerced into sending you money, unless manipulation or coercion are their fetishes, in which case that’s a little different but ultimately they’ll still want to send money to you they will want you to work harder for it.
Domination and Blackmail: How to Protect Yourself
Blackmail domination is very popular, mostly due to the thrill of being “exposed.” That thrill can come from timewasters who enjoy getting exposed (for free) for being annoying and spamming you with photos or messages, some enjoy paying to exposed to your following: for having a small dick, for being ugly, for being a sissy, for liking men, for being a married man, etc. Some enjoy the idea of you having personal information about them and exposing them if they do not listen to you, whether they want you to expose them on your social media, expose them to their partner/family, etc. Usually these types are after some kind of risk of being outed because they enjoy the thrill of potentially being caught.
Blocking / Banning Instead of Exposing
A lot of models accidentally make the mistake of “exposing” people for free on their platforms because they are exposing them for wasting their time/being annoying, and fail to realize that this is actually exactly what they want. When it comes to situations like these, it is best to actually block/ignore the person. Not giving them the attention they want in any form may even convince them to pay you for a service instead, and for these reasons it can be a great idea to add an “unblock fee” to your stores/profiles.
Legal Risks of Doing Blackmail Domination
When it comes to blackmail, it can be a very dangerous topic. So dangerous that a lot of “veteran performers” won’t even consider offering it. Blackmail can lead to serious legal consequences, and in most cases there is no way for the legal system to identify if the blackmail was consensual, if it started consensual and then ended up being nonconsensual, or if it was entirely nonconsensual the entire time. Due to this, we highly suggest avoiding blackmail.
Integrating Scenarios Into Blackmail Clips
If you’ve heard the horror stories and would still like to offer blackmail as a service, it is always best to offer it in a non-specific fantasy scenario. For example: a video called “Blackmailing Daddy for Cash” already has loopholes in it that would help a legal case not hold up in court, the viewer obviously isn’t your “Daddy” and if the “blackmail” you’re offering is along the lines of “I know what you did” with absolutely no specifics it gets much harder for anything to be brought against you. You can even make it a totally unreal scenario like “I caught you sniffing my panties Daddy, and now you owe me.” In fact, I’m sure the viewer has never sniffed your panties, if they have you definitely didn’t catch them doing it, and once again they are not your dad.
Fantasy Vs Authentic Blackmail Services
Fantasy scenarios keep you safe from possible legal action, but if your heart is set on providing a real authentic blackmail service then you need to set some boundaries for yourself. Never under any circumstance should you ever expose someone with their REAL information. Do not contact their wife, do not contact their family, do not contact anyone who knows them. If you do chose to expose their images/videos on social media, crop or blur their face. Do not ever post their real contact information or identity, a good way to avoid this if you’re publicly exposing them is “look at what this LOSER did” rather than using their name. Some models are under the misconception that a “legal contract” can prevent them from facing consequences for consensual blackmail, in reality since this is a document that is not notarized and was not drafted by a lawyer/professional the odds of something like this standing up in a court of law are very slim.
Best Cam Sites For Domination Shows
Domination shows can be very fun and very profitable to perform on cam, but finding the right place to provide them can be tricky. You have to find a site that has decent submissive traffic, and also provides the right options for you to perform your best style of show.
Domme Shows On Chaturbate
Chaturbate is a great place to offer Domination shows because of their private and ticket show options. When it comes to interests in FemDom/FinDom, a lot of people will find that their wants are specific and likely differ from others, even those looking for the same fetish may differ in the ways they’d like to receive it. Having the option to be in a private setting is convenient, and there is also the added convenience of the member being able to continue tipping during the show.
Learn More: Getting Started As A Chaturbate Broadcaster
Domme Shows On Streamate
Streamate is a great place for Domination shows because they are entirely private based and also have a very large amount of submissive traffic. There is the added convenience of being able to tip during the show, and another great thing about Streamate is the “competition for traffic” is limited since room count is not the deciding factor on placement, and because you don’t have the problem of “doing more for less” since there is a rule against below the belt nudity in free chat.
Learn More: Getting Started As A Streamate Model
Domme Shows On Flirt4Free
Flirt4Free has good private show options, they also have the “Offers” feature which allows members to request private shows with you at lower/higher rates than what your rate is set at. This works great for FinDom shows who are looking for a “wallet rinsing” with higher than average rates.
Learn More: Getting Started As A Flirt4Free Model
Domme Shows On ManyVids
ManyVids has a private show feature and the ability for users to continue tipping during your show. They also have good fetish/FemDom traffic within their video section which helps contribute to their new and growing webcam feature.
Learn More: Selling Adult Videos On ManyVids
*There are many other sites where you may be able to make Domination shows work for you, and this is not to discredit them, but these are the common sites where you can reliably find submissive customers.
Best Clip Sites for Domme Clips
iWantClips a very Domme-centric site, with many of the top performers on the site catering to fetish and Domination related niches. Models who primarily focus on Domination clips will find success on iWantClips due to the nature of the organic traffic on the site leaning towards Domme style content.
Performing Domme Skype Shows
If the idea of free chat doesn’t sit well with you, you may be better off offering Skype Shows. A majority of the Skype selling networks have fantastic submissive traffic and a lot of customers actually prefer it because of the private one-on-one nature of the shows. These sites allow your customer to pay for per-minute Skype shows, and you don’t have to wait for customers to find you in free chat since these sites allow you to schedule a time with your customer.